By Tiffany Edwards Hunt
Have you heard the latest buzz about actor Scott Caan’s recent comments about Hawaii on Chelsea Lately?
Caan plays Detective Danny “Danno” Williams in The remake of Hawaii Five-O.
He was wahanui on Chelsea Handler’s late-night television show, dissing Hawaii’s laid-back lifestyle, its food, its surf, and generalized about crystal methamphetamine. Handler helped with the insults, offering her own ambivalence about Hawaii.
Here is the exchange, beginning with Caan suggesting his girlfriend should have a Purple Heart Award for having to endure living here:
“Chelsea: She gets to live in Hawaii now, you like that right?
Scott: No I don’t. She doesn’t either. That’s why she should get the purple heart. She’s just sticking it out…
Chelsea: What’s wrong with Hawaii? There are no snakes in Hawaii?
Scott: Everything’s very slow motion. I pick up the cup, and they slowly pick up the cup, you know what I mean. Everything’s too relaxed for me. I like to hustle and there’s no hustle there.
Chelsea: There is no hustle there, that’s for sure. And there’s a lot of crystal meth there.
Scott: A lot of crystal meth. Which, you know, is not my thing.
Chelsea: I once went there. It’s not my thing, either. I went there. And the driver offered us, ’cause usually the driver, the guy at the hotel, will offer you weed or something, but the guy offered me crystal meth. And I was like, What? First of all, Now that I know you’re on crystal meth, I don’t want you driving us, A. And B, what does my face say to you that I like crystal meth? What kind of impression am I giving you? I had to really look at myself that weekend.
Scott: I don’t think it’s personal. I think that’s the routine.
Chelsea: Did you at least learn how to surf while you were out there?
Scott: I’ve been surfing my whole life.
Chelsea: I can tell by your hairdo that you’re a surfer.
Scott: Thank you. This is what I try to do, I try to paddle out and not get it wet.
Chelsea: How does that work out for you?
Scott: It never works. But surfing in Hawaii is different. It’s more like survival. It’s different. Here surfing is surfing, there it’s…
Chelsea: You grew up in Malibu surfing, right?
Scott: A little bit, yeah.
Chelsea: Well, there’s no other beach to surf at, so I don’t know …
Scott: On the planet, I think it’s the greatest place in the world. But literally…
Chelsea: Well, yeah. Surfing in Hawaii is like serious stuff.
Scott: Yeah, they ask you how was your surfing, and you say, “I made it, I’m here. So that was a good one.”
Chelsea: I mean swimming in Hawaii can be difficult, so surfing is very difficult.
Scott: I like that aspect of it. And I like Hawaii as a place, but for about six days at a time.
Chelsea: Yeah, I know, I know, it’s very slow. And the food isn’t great.
Scott: It sucks, yeah.”
The Hawaii Five-O series remake premiered on September 20, 2010, and Caan must have the inside scoop that it’s about to get canned. If he doesn’t and Caan really was that stupid, then he needs to get his walking papers and the character “Danno,” needs to be replaced with a local.
The thing about Caan and Handler talking so badly about Hawaii on national television is that they epitomize the “f— haole” mentality.
Caan said he can only handle Hawaii for “six days” at a time, so why did a casting agent even think it was a good idea for him to star on Hawaii Five O?”
Send the guy back to Malibu to do voiceovers for the next Barbie movie. Let Caan feel the “hustle” navigating the eight-lane highways in LA.
Here is the deal, Caan. Most of us in Hawaii are here because we don’t like the lifestyle of the “hustler.” That is the kind of mentality that ruined Malibu, California even. We who have seen areas of the mainland ruined stand with the natives here in defense of preserving the quality of life.
I am bothering to write about this on Big Island Chronicle because I think Caan’s attitude epitomizes why locals too often have a problem with malahini.
Here is a guy making money off Hawaii. Actually, CBS is making money off the state with this really cheesy show that, in my opinion, shouldn’t be named after the classic Hawaii Five O, starring Jack Lord and James Macarthur, which ran from ’68 to ’80. I am sure CBS is getting tax credits to film here. And then Caan goes on Chelsea Lately and bites the hands that feed them?!
Personally, I think Caan just sabotaged his role on Hawaii Five O. I cannot imagine him surviving the backlash. He has got to be replaced. And honestly his acting on the show is so bad, CBS would do well by casting a University of Hawaii theatre student in his place. Find a local who loves this great state to star as the badass cop. I would suggest Hawaii born star Jason Scott Lee, but he has already been featured as another named detective. What’s Keanu Reeves up to? He’s a local braddah who could represent us well.
That’s the point: we want someone who truly appreciates the lifestyle and culture here.
Hawaii isn’t for everyone, and anyone who doesn’t want to be here should not be forced to stay here.
Caan and his girlfriend should be able to go back to Malibu, and everyone else who shares their sentiment should not waste one more day of their life being somewhere that makes them miserable.
There are people who work their whole lives, “hustling,” only to “retire” some place like here. Those of us who actually get Hawaii see the futility in that.
What bothers me is that people like Caan come here and make money off exploiting the place, when they don’t actually like it here.
They are like those people who move here thinking they want the “little grass shack in Kealakekua,” and actually ruin the place with their tract homes reminscient of Levittown.
Every now and then I enjoy a staycation in Kona. I love sitting by the pool and watching people like Caan and Handler try to relax. You watch them order a drink, and then dog the local for not moving fast enough to serve them.
That’s the same local you are going to be sitting next to in the lineup at the beach, Caan. You dog the local’s work ethic, and then you want him to share the wave? Auwe! That local has every right to be doing circle turns around your sorry rubber ducky ass.
Don’t come to Hawaii with a bad attitude, expecting everyone to be rolling out the lauhala mat. You have to give aloha if you have any hopes of getting any aloha back.
As for the comments Caan and Handler made about crystal meth, well, yeah, “ice,” as we call it is here, is nasty. But news flash: it’s everywhere. It’s in Malibu, too. How many friends of Caan and Hustler are hooked on it?
What’s really ironic is that Caan and Handler talk about the meth problem in Hawaii, at the same time they promote the “hustle” only a tweaker would know.
I had one eyebrow up, listening to that part of their conversation. It sounded pretty darn sensational. I have had taxi rides on Oahu, and never was solicited to buy any drugs.
Actually, there are people who believe that there is a meth problem in Hawaii, as a result of marijuana eradication.
Maybe if Caan and Handler were handed a doobie when they got off the plane in Hawaii, they might take some time to chill the f — out.
Hawaii is what you make it. If you want the hustle and bustle, you can get yourself some meth or pop some uppers from a candy doctor, and work yourself into a frenzy.
There are people in Hawaii who genuinely prefer the natural high of being in the jungle and surfing world-class waves. We are content with the pace of Hawaiian time. We who appreciate Hawaii know how pointless it is to run around like the “white rabbit.” We don’t want to wait until our retirement to figure out that life is about relationships, not the “hustle” to acquire stuff. We actually think that shows like the remake of Hawaii Five O do a dis-service to Hawaii by offering misrepresentations and unrealistic expectations about the place we call home.
Yes, Hawaii has its fair share of problems, like everywhere else.
But the last thing we need is Caan doing our PR work. Beat it, Danno.
If Barbie isn’t your thing, go to Santa Monica and revive Baywatch.